I understand

This is to all the parents out there that get dirty looks as they walk through the store with their screaming kid.  The mom with bags under her eyes, staring blankly into nothingness as their kid pulls at her hand insisting that she watch *insert movie/TV show name here* or to the dad who has given so many piggy back rides his back is constantly hurting and he cringes when he hears his kid ask for another one.  This is to all the worn out, over tired, under appreciated parents out there.

We have all been there at one point or another.  I understand and I can fully relate to the screaming kid you are pushing around in your stroller, pretending s/he isn't screaming in hopes that ignoring it will make them shut up.  Wishing you were anywhere but there at that moment.  I know whats going through your head and I don't blame you at all for wishing the earth would open up and swallow you whole.  I get it.  I want to walk over to you and offer to help, there were days I wish someone would have offered it to me.  But I don't want to upset you or make you feel like you are a bad parent, I know you already feel like you are as you watch all the other parents walk around with their non screaming kids.  So I watch from afar and offer you a smile if you see me looking at you, maybe even a kind word if you are close enough to hear me over Jr's wailing.  I promise this too shall pass.
To the mom who is out with a friend and cant focus on the conversation because her 14 month old baby has kept her up every night for the last 14 months, I get it.  I know how it is.  I hope that your friend will to, but don't count on it if she is childless, she gets 8 or more uninterrupted hours of sleep a night and sleeps until noon on the weekends.  She isn't going to understand that you don't quite have the mental ability to offer her advice about her latest disaster of a relationship, or that you may want to choke her for complaining about the bartender kicking her out at 2am when the bar closed and she had to get up at 11 the next day.  The blank stare that she doesn't understand, honey I get it and I want you to know that kids will eventually sleep through the night, but you may not for awhile.
To the parent who has come to despise Disney, Nick, and Cartoon Network.  I get it.  Just remember one day you will find yourself watching those same shows you hate because the kids are in bed and you don't have the energy to find the remote for the 100 time today.  Sometime in a future that seems so far away you will long for the days that Jr curled up on the couch next to you and watched his favorite show for the millionth time.  You will find yourself wishing that time would rewind and he would be that little kid again, if only for a day.  But in the meantime, I get it.  I hate those channels too and have wished the most painful horrific death imaginable on the creators of those horribly annoying shows/movies.  I understand and am here to assure you in a few months you wont have to watch that show/movie anymore because Jr will have a new most favorite ever movie to torture you with.
To the mom who is awake at 2am crying with their baby, wondering what she is doing wrong, I assure you the crying is normal and you are a good mom.  Babies cry, some of the do nothing but eat, poop and cry.  Sleep is going to be a thing that you will pray for for at least the next year.  Take advantage of any moment you can to catch a nap.  Ask a friend or family member to help you one night.  It's OK to ask for help when you need it.  You cant run on no sleep forever and you don't have to be super woman.  This phase will pass and you will wonder where the time went.  As hard as it is to imagine, you will miss these days one day.  Enjoy them as much as possible and sleep when you can so you can be the best mom in the world.
To the dad who cringes when Jr asks for yet another piggy back ride, just remember one day Jr is going to be too big and you will miss these days.  I get it, there are days I don't think my back can take one more trip down the hall with a drooling giggling child sitting on it, but somehow it does and the giggling is well worth it.  Dad, take advantage of these moments because one day you will be the enemy and you will look back on these memories to get you through being told that you are hated.  Fathers and sons all go through it from what I understand and it will pass.  One day your son will be all grown up and you will have that relationship with him again, in the meantime remember the piggy back rides and smile.
To all the parents who don't know how they are going to make it through another day, I get it.  I'm right there with you and you are not alone.  Smile even when you don't want to, laugh at the silly jokes that you don't understand, give one more piggy back ride, watch one more movie, cry if you have to, sleep when you can, ignore the dirty looks from strangers in the store when Jr is screaming at the top of his lungs and most of all, enjoy every second of being a parent.  One day the nest will be empty and you will wonder where time went.
As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

The Start of a New School Year, and a New Journey

Its that time of year again, back to school time.  Typically I am celebrating with the other moms and anxiously waiting on the first day of school like a kid waiting for Christmas.  But not this year.  This year I have decided to homeschool my kids and I am terrified!  Lesson plans, teaching three kids in three different grades and taking care of a very demanding toddler.  I'm still not exactly sure how I am going to pull this off and keep what little sanity I have left.  But, I'm sure once we get a routine down it will all work out.  I don't doubt my ability to teach them, I know I am more than capable and that they are all smart enough to pick up on anything we do quickly.  What I am doubting is my time management skills.  Time management has never been a strong point of mine and I have been known(more often than I care to admit) to procrastinate until the last possible minute.  I am more than aware that that is not something that I can do any longer, but I'm not exactly sure how its all going to play out, especially on those days that Mr. Sy has decided to not let me sleep.  I guess one good thing is that we wont have to get up at the ass crack of dawn and rush around looking for lost shoes and run away back packs.  We can get up and take our time waking up and getting started so long as we aren't too late getting going.  Major perk for someone who HATES mornings.
I fully intend to keep y'all updated on how things are going and now that I have a reliable internet connection it wont be so long between updates.
Well my loves, its getting late and I have some things I need to get done before attempting to pass out for the night.  Bub has a friend staying over tonight and even though they were 11pm falling asleep, I am sure they will all be awake bright and early tomorrow.
As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Well, we are finally getting answers....

Its been a little over a year since Sy was put in the hospital for failure to thrive and we are finally getting some answers on what the hell s going on with him.  First theres the low production of growth hormone.  Now I find out that hes got something called alpha 1 antitripsyn disorder.  I'm not entirely sure what that means yet since I haven't really researched it much because I don't want to scare the shit out of myself, but I do know that its better than it could have been but worse than I would have liked for it to have been.  I also know that this is the reason his liver enzymes are never right and why his white cell count is always low.  I'm calling his genetics Dr tomorrow to make an appointment to discuss what this all means in the short and long term.  I'm kind of scared to know the answer but I need to know.  I'll update with what that is when I find out.  He goes to the ped and has therapy tomorrow and his therapy evaluation is tomorrow to see if we are going to increase it or leave it the same.
Now for the scary news.  He had, what we believe was, a small seizure a few nights ago and possibly another one yesterday while he was napping.  Both have been while he was sleeping and he was perfectly fine after other than being hard to wake up.  His ped is scheduling him a test( I think he said an eeg) and sending him to a neuro Dr to be evaluated and see if they can figure out what the hell is going on now.
I have come to realize when it comes to him there will never be an end to visiting Dr's and at the moment there is no cure for what he has going on.  I expect him to have things happen that Dr's may or may not be able to explain right away and that we need to take it one day at a time.  This is all new territory to me and its terrifying some days.  I wasn't expecting to ever get an answer on what was going on with his liver enzymes and when we went to the GI Dr last week and he dropped that in my lap I was so shocked that I didn't know what to ask or what to say.  But in time things will get easier.
Hes walking!!!  He took his first steps about 3ish weeks ago and has taken off and is doing really well with it.  Far better than his therapist expected him to do so soon.

Well, thats all for now.  Its chilly out here and I want to go in the house and sit in my comfy chair and relax a bit.  Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.

As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with our friends <3

Jello Party!!

We had our annual Jello Party last weekend, and it was a BLAST!  We had around 27 kids show up and all but 3 of them got COVERED!  We were supposed to have 33 but a few didnt show up, probably because when they RSVP'd their parent asked what the change of clothes and towel were for and they decided that they didnt want to have their kids covered in jello.  Whatever, better off without those stuck up people.  I bought and made 500 boxes of jello this year which ended up giving me 127 2ltrs and 2 3ltrs full of jello, and those filled my big pool(it probably could have taken more but its been through 7 years of jello parties and I was quite shocked it survived last year well enough to be used again) and my little pool that we usually use for water.  I had the oh so brilliant idea to have water balloons this year so the kids could throw them while we filled the pool because it takes awhile.  Well, plans got messed up and i didnt get a chance to fill any balloons the night before so we were left scrambling to fill as many as possible before the party.  We got about a half a tub(one of those 30 gallon totes) filled before it was time to fill the pool and they lasted about 10 seconds.  Thats when the kids started circling us....waiting...asking questions...slowly closing in on us...i was kind of afraid they were going to attack at one point.  But after shouting a few times for them to back up they all took a few steps back and waited patiently(even though they were all fidgeting and itching to get closer and start).  Once the pool was filled I gave them the rules, dont throw any jello at the cluster of adults, if they are in the slime zone thats on them, but the ones that didnt want to get messy, or werent brave enough to get close were off limits.  The other rule was dont hi

t my dog, hes a Husky and a pain in the ass to wash.  FYI I didnt have him in the house because people were going to be in and out changing and using the bathroom and i didnt want him to get away, and he is a runner.  Anyway, I took y pool pictures and told them to have at it.  They all got to the edge of the pool and were carefully putting their hands in it, like they werent sure if I was serious when I said they could throw it, jump in it, throw each other in it, or whatever else they could think of.  Thats when Bub stepped in the pool, bent over and grabbed 2 hands full of jello and just slung it out to the sides of him, hitting 8 or so kids.  All hell broke loose!  They all jumped in the pool, well as many as the pool could fit, they were pushing and shoving and trying to get jello to throw.  It was amazing, or dare I say, beautiful?  It took about 10 minutes for all that jello to be thrown and just the sludge left in the bottom, but I must say the smiles on the kids faces were totally worth it.  So, I decided that I am going to top myself next year by buying 200 boxes of jello a month for the next year which will give me 1200 boxes of jello, which will give me roughly 600 2ltrs of jello and around 6 large pools!  Thats my goal and I an determined to meet it.  Anyway, I'm going to leave it at that and post some pictures for yall to enjoy.
As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3.

End of the year woohoo!!!

(Posting from my phone please ignore mistakes)

Wooooohooooooo!!!!! We finally made it to the end of a very,very,very long school year!!  Today was the boys last day of school and I'm pretty sure I'm more excited about them being out than I ever was when I was in school. Mom, I'm sorry I was always a pain in the ass to get to(and keep in) school.  Its far harder to get kids up and moving, ready, fed and out the door ON TIME than it ever was to go sit in a class all day.
Both boys passed to the next grades, super happy and uber proud. Im going to be working with all 3 of them over the summer to keep them from forgetting stuff, I'm sure they are going to be oh so happy about this.  But for now I'm going to let them enjoy their summer, study free.  We are having our annual jello party this weekend so I've got a lot to do between now and Saturday. So far I've had more RSVP's than ever and there's usually a few that show up who didn't RSVP, and of course the few that do and don't show. At the moment we are expecting somewhere around 30 kids to come, plus adults with them, so roughly 50 people will be at my house Saturday. I can not begin to describe how anxious I am about this. Im not exactly a people person,in case you hadn't gathered that already, and the thought of having to interact with so many people has me on the verge of a panic attack. Of course it doesn't help that the one other adult that was going to be here to help (the kids dad) has to work all of the sudden. Thankfully my wonderful friends and family have stepped in to offer help. Those of you that have offered, thank you a million times over, you have no idea how much this means to me. Well, as much as I hate to cut this short I really need to get my butt in gear now that the kids are in bed and get some laundry folded. I'll post after the party with pics and a run down of how it all went.

As always, comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Update on little man

OK again I'm on from the phone and at this point I am trying to catch up on all the blogging i have wanted to do but not had time for.

For those of you that have been following my Sy saga here is an update for you.
We went for a long growth hormone test last week to see what his hormone levels were because the times that they checked it it was so low they couldn't detect it. He wasn't allowed to eat after midnight the night before the test through until it was done,thag was the worst part because he eats nonstop. We got there at 630am and checked in and went to a room on the 7th floor where they put in an IV to draw blood and administer meds. I have to brag and say he didn't cry at all when they stuck him twice to get it started. Yay Sy!  They took 3 tubes of blood and left. Then they started the first Med which was to jump start hormone production. They drew blood every half hour while we were there and at the 1 1/2 hour mark they gave him a ssecond Med,and I cant rremember what it was for. Up j til this point he was doing great. The second Med made him sleepy and he was hungry because it was 1030 and he hadn't eaten yet so he got PISSED. He was finally allowed to eat at 1130 and we got home around 1. Overall he did amazing but it really sucked to hear him screaming and not bbe able to do anything for him.
I got the results from the test the other day and of the 12 blood draws 11 of them were low and ONE was in the grey area so they don't want to start treatment. I get that because once its started his body won't produce it on its own and they want to wait to ssee if he will start making it without treatment first. So we go for the test again in 6mos. In the meantime we go for an MRI later this month and make rounds to all his drs again to see if they can come up with something else. In the first 2yrs of life growth hormone doesn't play a major role and growth is based more off of nutrition than anything. Which is leading the endocrinologist to think there may be more to whatever is going on than just a hormone issue. *sigh* one day one of these drs will figure it out and get it all taken care of. At least that's what I hope will happen.

Things you should.know about little boys

Again,I'm.posting from.my phone. Sorry.

1) Dirt will stick to them. I swear they all have invisible dirt magnets and will find the tiniest speck of dirt.in a pristine room.

2) Their favorite toy will always and fforever be their penis. It starts when they are still in diapers and never ends. Don't believe me?  Look over at your husband/boyfriend/fuck buddy at any random moment he is relaxing. I bet his hand will be on it.

3) Guns and weapons are their second favorite toys. Try as much as you want to to keep them away from it bit they will make a weapon out.of ANYTHING. 

4) They will have an interest in girls at a very going age,even if they don't know why.  Gone are the days of girls having cooties.

5) They can and will climb on anything that you think is dangerous and most likely jump off of it just to watch you have a mini heart attack.

6) Boys will steal your heart and hold it in their grubby little hands ladies. Having a son is totally different than having a daughter. I can't explain why but it is.

7) They are born with an instinct to protect their mommy. It's super sweet and totally cute.

8)  They will do anything to make you proud.

9) Hygiene is not on the top of their priority list.  They simply don't care.
10) They have their own distinct smell. Best I can describe it is a mixture of dirt and candy. Weird.

Having boys is the most rewarding thing any mother can experience. Not to downplay girls because that's special in its own right ans I'll touch on that later. But boys are special to us mommies. Enjoy it ladies, it goes by too fast.

When will.people learn?!

First,please forgive any random periods or double letters,misplaced or odd words.  Im doing this from.my phone and editing is a pain.in the ass.

Now,to.the point of this post.
I live on a fairly busy road. It's the main way into the neighborhood and a decent little stretch of road before you hit the stop sign. There is also a hump.in the road that used to be railroad tracks which have been covered over by asphalt.  When I was a kid(hell.until.I was damn near 20) the tracks were left there to.slow.people.down. Not that any of us really did but there wasn't houses on both sides of the street tthen either. Anyway, since they covered it people fucking fly down the road in attempts to jump the old tracks. This isn't REALLY an issue for me since i have a wall of trees across my front yard,and pretty much everyone that loses control ends up across the street in the neighbors yards, but I do have kids and there is a chance one of these fucktards will eventually end up slamming into one of my trees...or worse.  Around this time last year some numbnut came over the hump,lost control and slammed into the power pole which knocked power out to our house and the court across the street. Then there was the guy who jumped the curb and busted both passenger side tires and still sped away driving on his rims. They found him 2 blocks away with bent rims and pissed off parents.  But the best one yet happened today. I had my front door open and from my chair I can see the corner where most of the fuck ups land. Im eating my oh so healthy dinner of microwave burritos and I hear these 2 morons(they cone flying through here a few times a day) on dirt bikes coning up the road. I looked out the door at the exact right moment and see one fly by and the other one drift over to the other side of the road, lose control and hit the curb. His bike goes up over the curb and he bails because he's heading for the brick sign that's over there. He landed on his side,glasses flew off when he bailed and his bike slams the brick. I damn near choked I laughed so hard. He's almost lost control a few times coming through here and he kept doing it. Common sense would say to slow down(or at the very least learn to control your bike).  But noooooo,he kept doing it and he finally fucked up. I walked out and asked if he was OK, he said he was and his friend came back a minute later laughing at him. He picked up the bike, found his broken glasses and went on his merry way but he was holding his arm so I'm willing to bet he's got at least some nasty bruises. Hopefully he learned his lesson and slows down, but I'm willing to bet I'll see him fly through tomorrow.
I've added a pic of the corner with the hump(not the best pic it was raining) and my wall of trees for your viewing pleasure.

Children are tiny terrorists...and other things

I have come to realize that my kids are just little terrorists, especially in the younger years.  They all seem to think that the adults in their lives will give into any and all demands made.  If they don't get what they want what happens?  This cute little child transforms into this demon spawn right before your eyes!  It's actually pretty amazing how it happens.  Here's an example.

I had to go to the store to pick up what I needed for dinner.  Since it was the middle of the day I only had 2 kids with me, Sy and Kira and I figured it would be far easier to take 2 kids mid day than it would to take 4 kids in the later afternoon.  So I packed us all into the car and we set off for the store.  On the way there I gave my usual speech.  "I expect you to be on your best behavior.  No running around or wondering off, you need to stay with me.  Don't ask for anything, the answer is no, no matter what it is you are asking me to buy.  Understand?"  From the back of the van I hear "Yes I understand."  Great!  Maybe this won't be nearly as bad as I am expecting it to me.  HA!  We pull into a parking spot and I open the van door and in my best mommy voice "Remember what I said."  She nods her head as she jumps out and we get Sy and head in.  Everything was going great until we got to the cereal aisle.

"Mommy, can we get this?  It's my favorite!"

"Didn't I tell you not to ask me for anything?"

"Yes but....."
"No buts.  No we aren't getting that, I have 12 boxes of cereal at home already and I'm not buying any more until those are gone."(Yes I actually had 12 boxes of cereal at home, I buy on sale with coupons and stock up on them since they can eat an entire box in like 2 days.)

"But..."
"NO!"

·         At this point she's mad. This is when the transformation happened.  She was being so good up to this point, now I have a little demon spawn on my hands.  Any seasoned mom can tell you they KNOW when this change happens.  She started to frown, then she looked down at the floor and crossed her arms.  She knows better than to start screaming and yelling because that will earn her a swift smack on the ass, but you can see that she is seriously contemplating it.  I mean at this point she knows she's already in trouble and you can almost see her weighing the options in her head.  I stood there waiting on her to stop pouting, I have all the time in the world and she's not going to stand there long, she never does.  When she finally decides to stop staring at the floor she looks up and her brows are drawn, a scowl on her face and giving me a look that said "Bitch you will pay for this."  I know that look all too well, not only do I see it on a regular basis, but I have been known to give the same one more than a few times.   Ask my mom, I was a pro at that look when I was a kid.  Knowing that this shopping trip had gone to hell I grabbed her hand and set off to finish getting what I needed so we could get out of there as quickly as possible.  She was resistant and complained about how fast I was walking and that her legs were tired, she was tired, she wanted something to drink, and pretty much every other thing she could think of.  As we reached the back of the store she saw the lunchables, now I will usually pick one up for whichever kid is with me, provided they haven't been a pain in the ass.  She decided to take it upon herself to walk over to them and pick one out!  Um....no.  I took it out of the cart and put it back and told her she wasn't getting one because she wasn't behaving like she was supposed to and that I don't reward ugly behavior.  Well, that pissed her off!  She stomped her foot and demanded that I get her one.  HAHAHA!  That wasn't going to happen.  But now I had a problem.  I could stand there and try to reason with her, I could leave everything where it was and walk out, or I could bust her butt and adjust her attitude and finish my shopping.  As you all know I do spank my kids, but I rarely do it in public for fear that some nosey person is going to call the cops on me for disciplining my kids in a way that they don't agree with, so that option is only used as a last resort.  I knew this wasn't going to be pretty but I didn't think it was time to use my last resort yet.  I didn't want to be rude and leave a basket full of groceries there for some poor should to have to restock them all, so I opted to try reasoning. 

"You need to stop acting like that and behave before you get into some serious trouble."

"I want a lunchable."

"I'm sorry you want a lunchable but you aren't getting one, I wanted you to behave but I didn't get what I so you aren't getting what you want."

"But I want..."

"Kira I said no, now let's go."

She stood there glaring at me, daring me to do something.  I hate it when my kids do that shit.  It's like they know they are embarrassing me and don't care.  I mean I know they don't care, they are kids, but it's nice to think that they might.  I grabbed her by her upper arm and escorted her to the front of the store, forgetting that I still needed to get butter and milk, and got in line.  She was crying by this point, kind of making a scene, and the longer she went on the madder I was getting.  I can usually ignore her outbursts at home, I send her to her room to calm herself down(and for me to calm down) and then I go in and handle it however I need to.  While we were standing in line she had the nerve to ask me if she could get gum!  As wrong as it is, I laughed and told her no.  I didn't give her an explanation, I just said no and left it at that.  Five minutes later we were in the car an on the way home.  She was still pissed and sniffling in the backseat and I was pissed.  I sent her to her room as soon as we got home as punishment and went in and talked to her about a half hour later. 

This is what I am talking about, they will do whatever they have to, to attempt to get what they want.  Tiny terrorists.  Don't ever take no for an answer, have no mercy and will make the most insane demands.  I have to negotiate with at least one child a day.  Ten years ago I would have laughed at the thought of having to debate with a five year old.  I always swore my kids wouldn't be like that.  I knew that my kids wouldn't be the terrors in the store that everyone would stare at and judge my parenting.  Now that I have four kids I know that it's not always the parenting, it's the kid being a kid.  I discipline my kids, and for the most part they are very well behaved, especially when mom isn't around, but they have their moments when they decide to defy me and act like they don't have brains between their ears.  They want to see exactly how much they can get away with and how far they can push me.  They do the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome, which isn't always the brightest idea.  I have never given in to their demands so I'm not sure why they think that imp going to now, but they all try it from time to time.  I think their goal is to see if they can actually make me pull my hair out.  Bub is way better than he was before, probably because after nine years of trying he's finally realized that I am not going to give in.  Kaden is getting better, he's a whiner and he does it because he knows it drives me insane.  Kira is by far the worst of them, she has a stubborn streak in her that would drive a preacher to cuss.  I'm quite curious to see how Sy will be, I have hopes that he will see how it doesn't work for eh older 3 and not even bother to try.  Yeah, I know, not a chance in hell.  But I have to have hope.  It's all I've got some days. 

Onto other things.  I dyed my hair not too long ago.  I was going for a crimson red and ended up with a bubble gum pink on top that fades into a crimson red on the bottom.  Not the look I was going for, but I'm rocking it anyway.  I had to strip all the color out of my hair before I could try to do the red since I have been dying it black for the past 2 years and black is a really hard color to cover, the stripping went OK....I saw my natural color for the first time in 13 years, which is blond, and remembered why I started dying my hair to begin with.  What sucked was that the color on the bottom didn't strip out as well as it did on top and that's how I ended up with pink hair.  I think I'm going to keep it this way for awhile and maybe do a purple or a blue next time.  Fuck it, if I'm going to do it I may as well stand out right?  I won't be able to pull it off for much longer, I'm getting way too close to 30 to be rocking loud ass colors. 

Both my older boys are in baseball this season.  Bub is loving it and doing amazing for his first year.  Kaden hates it because it isn't real baseball so he's usually off in his own little world when he's out on the field.  I find this slightly amusing since Bub didn't want to play baseball at all and Kaden REALLY wanted to.  Now Bub is talking about wanting to play in the fall and Kaden is saying he wants to play soccer.  I love that they want to play sports, but as it stands right now they have practice Monday through Thursday on alternating days and either a game or practice on Saturdays.  If Kaden decides to play soccer that means 2 different places for practice and games and with my luck they will have practice at the same time on the same day.  But whatever, as long as they are happy that's all that matters right?

A little update on Sy since I haven't give y'all one in awhile.  We went to the ped for his 9 month appointment and he was 15lbs 5.5oz and doing good with his growth, he was FINALLY on the chart for his height for weight! Then we went to the GI Dr 3 days later and he was  15lbs 2oz.  He lost weight UGH!!  Now, here's the problem with the weight loss.  He is weighed at his ped without a diaper on and with it on at the GI Dr.  So there should have been a weight GAIN with a diaper on, even if it was just the weight of the diaper.  I wasn't expecting that shit at all.  He's always had a hard time gaining weight but he's never lost weight before.  This opens up a whole new world of shit.  But for the moment they are waiting to do anything else until he goes to endo.  He's got a weight check soon and if he's lost more weight that will change things, but I am hoping that he's gained.  If not gained I hope that he's at least stayed the same.  He started therapy a few weeks ago.  He's got fine and gross motor delays and a speech delay so we are working on that.  I have seen a HUGE difference in what he can do since he started.  He can now sit himself up from laying down, and he pulled up on his own today for the first time without help!!!  I cannot tell you how proud of him I am!  He's also started waving bye bye and is attempting to clap.  I know these things don't sound like much but for him it's pretty huge since he was so delayed a few weeks ago.  He's still got quite a way to go before he's where he should be but it's a start.  I expected him to have delays from the beginning because of all the issues he's had, so when they told me that he was behind it wasn't a shock.  But I didn't expect him to be as behind as he was.  With all the weight issues he was having he was malnourished, which is bad for babies and kids because it can stunt development.  His speech is still really delayed, but he's now babbling way more than he was before.  He says mama and dada but neither one have any meaning.  By now he should be saying more than one syllable "words" and have at least two words with meaning.  He's getting there though. 

Well my loves, it's getting late and I need to attempt to get some sleep, I've had a hard time sleeping lately for some reason.  As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Vagina holes....

Yes, you read that right.  Vagina hole was the topic of conversation in my house the other day.  It was....um...interesting?  It started with Kira, she had picture day at school Monday, which I forgot about until the last minute.  Which means that I had her trying on clothes Sunday in an attempt to find her something that would look decent.  I had given her a black skirt to try on and, for once, she did without fighting me.  She comes prancing into the kitchen with this black skirt on and tells me "mommy theres a hole in it."  Great, the one thing that I thought would fit her without her looking like a prosti-tot and its got a damn hole in it!  So I asked her where the hole was and she pointed to what looked like the bottom of her skirt(it was just above her knees).  I looked and didn't see a hole.  About the time I finished looking for this mystery hole she whispers "not there....THERE!"  she bends over like shes trying to stick her head up her own butt and points to her vagina.  I stifled my laugh and told her, "well yes, there is a hole there, its supposed to be there."  "OH MY GAWD MY VAGINA HAS A HOLE IN IT!! ITS BROKEN!!!"  Let me tell you, it was INCREDIBLY hard not to laugh at this point.  Here she is standing in my kitchen, bent over in half with her head under her skirt yelling about her vagina being broken.  I have said it before and I am saying it again now.  Some days I am not mature enough for this parenting shit.  So the following conversation is what took place.
"No, its not broken.  Its supposed to be there."
"Why?"
"*sighs* because that's where women have babies from."
-----long pause-----
"I CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA!!!!!"
Of course this is the exact moment Kaden decided to walk into the room.  He was in his own little world as usual and as soon as she yelled that he stopped, looked at her with a look of disgust, looked at me and promptly "EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! Did I come out of your vagina too?!?!"
Oh dear God.  Why do my kids have to ask such weird questions?  They do have a dad they can ask too ya know.  Why does it ALWAYS have to be me?!
"Yes Kaden, all of you came out of my vagina."
"How?"
Kira of course has an answer for this one.
"I have a hole in my vagina and babies come from it. I am NEVER having a baby."
"You have vagina hole?!  I have a hole in my penis, its for pee to come out, does pee come out of that hole?"
"No, that's a different hole.'
Kira- "I have TWO vagina holes?!"
"Yes Kira, there are two holes down there,  one for pee and one for when you have a baby."
Kaden- "That is SO gross."

This conversation went on for FAR longer than I was comfortable with and I REALLY didn't want to be part of it.  The conclusion they finally came to was; Its weird that girls have 3 holes down there and boys only have 2.  Its completely gross that they came out of my vagina hole.  Kira is never having a baby. And they learned a new term....vagina hole.  This has been the main topic of conversation in my house since Sunday.  I am sooooo over hearing the term 'vagina hole'.  I am all for kids knowing about anatomy, and i will ALWAYS answer any questions they have, but I really wish they could start off with some easy ones.  Of course this whole vagina hole thing led into today's conversation with Kira while I was in the shower.  I have had plenty of conversations through the shower curtain, and I realized today my kids like to ask me the awkward questions while I'm in the shower.  I think they know they have me cornered and I'll have to answer them.  So, I decided that I was going to attempt to grab a quick shower this morning while Sy was content playing in his exersaucer and Kira was mesmerized by Super Why.  Probably not my brightest moment of the day since its rarely a good idea to leave Kira without supervision, but I desperately needed to take a shower and wake up some.  So I told her I was going to shower and I would be done by the time her show went off and to just sit there and watch TV.  She half ass nodded at me to let me know she heard me talking but didn't really process the words that came out of my mouth.  I grabbed a towel and got in the shower, leaving the door open so I could hear them and pulling the curtain open a bit so I could see them through the crack in the door.  I peeked through the door and saw that they hadn't moved and started washing my hair.  I actually got through shampooing without any interruptions woohoo!!  I rinsed and looked through the crack again and found them sitting contently and, thinking I was actually going to make it through an ENTIRE shower without someone needing something, I started to condition my hair.  That's when I heard "Mommy?" UGH!  This is what I get for thinking I suppose.  "What Kira?"  "What are these?" She sticks her little hand into the shower and grasped in it are a hand full of my tampons.  Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!  Praying that I could get away with a simple answer I told her "Those are tampons."
"What are tampons?"
"Cotton tubes?"
"What are they for?"
DAMN IT!!!
"For when a woman is on her period..."
"Whats a period?"
Of course shes not going to just leave it at that!
"Its when a woman bleeds from her vagina."
"From her vagina hole?"
"Yes."
"The one babies come from or the one you pee from?"
"The one babies come from."
"If babies come from there why does it bleed?"
"You don't bleed when you are pregnant, only when you aren't."
"Why do you bleed?"
Damn her and her interrogation!  I just wanted a 10 minute shower!
"Its complicated."
"Why?"
"Because it is."
"So...why does blood come from your vagina hole?"
"Because women have something called a uterus, once a month our bodies have an egg that goes into our uterus from something called an ovary, then it stick itself to the uterus.  If it doesn't get fertilized to become a baby our body gets rid of it so we bleed."
"We have eggs?  Like chickens?"
"No, not like chickens."
"OK."

I swear to God, this kid asks me a million questions a day!  I don't mind answering them but good lord gimme some easy ones once in awhile please.

Well my loves, I have to help the boys do homework so I have to run.  As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3.

For once, I am speechless!

It isn't often that I lack for words, hardly ever actually, but my daughter managed to leave me without words, mouth open and completely disgusted recently.  Not because she had done anything wrong(for once lol) but because she has this opinion that women have to be skinny and wear makeup to be pretty.  Let me start from the beginning.  I was in the kitchen doing dishes when she ran into the room telling me I needed what they were selling on TV.  It isn't unusual for her to say she wants something but shes never told me I needed something shes seen on TV.  So I went into the living room and caught the very end of the commercial.  It was for weight loss pills!!!  I couldn't have formed words if my life had depended on it!  My brain went into stupid mode, the only thought I had was "where in the hell did she get this idea from?!"  That was the first time she said something about my weight to me, shes said a few other things since and she has also told me that I need to wear make up to be pretty.  Let me tell you, I am a little on the bigger side but only by about 20lbs or so.  I am in no way fat to the point of being unhealthy, but I will admit that I could stand to lose a few pounds.  I also refuse to wear make up.  I don't think that women should have to paint their faces like clowns to feel or be seen as pretty.  Nor do I do my hair or wear the mot fashionable clothes.  I don't have the time or the money for that shit and I am totally OK with it!  I don't walk around talking about weight or any of that other shit and I have NEVER said that a woman has to be/do any of those things to be pretty.  I would never in a million years tell my daughter that because its completely WRONG!!  This is part of what had led to today's rant.
Ladies, stop it.  I don't blame you entirely for this issue, but come one, do you really have to play into what the media wants you to believe?  Can you be happy with who you are without wanting to change something? You should be ale to look in the mirror without make up and your hair done and nice clothes on and be able to say "I am beautiful!"  Do it every morning as soon as you get out of bed, eventually you will believe yourself.  Go out one day a week without makeup on, and slowly increase it and one day you wont even worry about it at all.  Lets take back what the media has stolen from us, our self worth!  Women are portrayed as super skinny with huge boobs, perfect hair and make up and always wearing the best clothes.  Ladies, this is not reality for most of us!  This is not how we should think we have to be to be accepted!  Maybe if we stopped buying into it we wouldn't be portrayed like that anymore?  Why should I have to put on a gallon of makeup every morning just to be accepted by other people?  I think I am pretty enough without it.  Why do I have to spend 3 hours doing my hair when I am fine with it up in a ponytail?  To give other people something to look at?  I don't have $200 to spend on an outfit, hell I could get an entire  wardrobe for that!  But society says I have to wear the name brands and the latest fashions to be accepted.  Fuck that!  I am totally fine with my old jeans(which are finally comfortable 5 years later) and a t-shirt that doesn't have some random stain on it from one of my kids.  Heels?  Fuck you buddy!  i am wearing my flip flops and you should consider yourself lucky that I even put those on.  Make up and hair?  I'm lucky I had time to brush it this morning and don't have any cheerios or spit up in it!  Make up, right because between diapers, school bull shit, new clothes/shoes for the kids and all the household bills I have left over money for that(and if I did I damn sure wouldn't be spending it on that crap!).  I love how I look and I don't think anyone should tell me that I shouldn't.  Or any of you for that matter.  We should all embrace who we are inside and out and not worry about what other people think about us.  After all, its whats on the inside that counts anyway right?  If that's what we all preach and that's what we are all suppose to believe then why do we place so much on loos anyway?  I don't give a flying fuck what you look like as long as you are a nice person.  Actually, some of the most made up, dolled up, skinniest people are the biggest assholes that I have ever had the misfortune to meet.  I honestly don't know what else to say on this subject other than just stop it.  Be who you are and be proud of what you look like, embrace your flaws and stop letting the media/society dictate what you should look like.

As always comments are welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Easter Sunday

I'm going to make this fairly short because its 230am and if i don't get some sleep soon tomorrow I'm going to be a total zombie(not the flesh eating kind) no matter how much coffee and Dr pepper I drink.
First,I'm doing this from my stupid smart phone so excuse my errors.
Happy belated zombie Jesus day to you my lovelies :).  The kids had a good Easter despite monster feeling crappy and running a fever of 101.7 by noon. No idea what's going on there, I was hoping it was just allergies but with the fever i have serious doubts that's what it is. But thank god for memaws!  He's at her house just in case he's got the creepy crude again. Fatties white cell count is still super low so I'm doing everything I can to keep him away from sick people. Breaks my heart to send my kids to my moms when they are sick but I know they are well taken care of and spoiled rotten. Hell, I still want to go to my moms when I'm sick! Lol. Anyways, I was writing this for y'all to 1) laugh at me/with me and 2) for y'all to see a little of what happens when you rarely sleep.
I cooked Easter dinner and managed to pull it off with no disasters, and typically i have at least one when it comes to cooking food on a holiday. Not sure why but it happens every time without fail. I'll have to tell you about Christmas last year sometime. But anyway, i made it all the way through cooking dinner without incident, yay me, and after making the older 3 plates I made plates for me and fatty. Sat down and gave him his first bite of ham(he wasn't sure about it at first then he was screaming at me between bites for more lol) and took a bite of my food, then I realized I forgot to pit salt and pepper on my potatoes and asked A to hand me the shakers. Now, let me tell you something about these salt and pepper shakers. These things were my grandparents and they got them when my dad was 5,he's 52 now, so they are 47 year old salt and pepper shakers. SOLID and HEAVY. I can not begin to tell you how many times these things have been dropped. Well, A hands them to me and has both of them in one hand. I grab them and before i had a good grip of them he let go. The pepper shaker dropped onto Garth's place and breaks the damn thing into 3 big pieces and a million tiny ones. Then the shaker bounces off the shattered plate and lands on the floor. It didn't break!  I knew it wouldn't but there's still that fear that it will since its so old.  Anyway, I laughed a little about it and cleaned it up and opened the dishwasher to grab another small plate for fatty. Apparently the dry cycle on the dishwasher lasts longer than I thought because when i grabbed the place it was hot. But fatty was screaming and I was starving so I sat it on the counter in front of the microwave and put mashed potatoes and green beans on it. I turned to grab a little slice of ham and the damn plate jumped off the counter and into the floor. Of course it shattered and glass and food went flying all over the place. I lost it. I stood there laughing so hard i couldn't breathe and had tears rolling down my face. Everyone is looking at me like I had finally lost my mind and that just made me laugh harder. I eventually stopped laughing so hard and got it all cleaned up and then from the living room I heard "are you fucking kidding me?!  I just tracked mashed potatoes across the living room!  Damn it!!"  Those words sent me into another laughing fit. I'm telling y'all I've lost my mind. And I am currently trying to finish typing this with one eye closed so I'm going to end it here.

As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Hi there

I'm not going to waste much time with saying hi and sorry I haven't written in awhile.  I have a lot to say and a very short time to get it all out since its currently 630 on a Monday night and i have kids that i have to get ready for bed and school tomorrow really soon.  This is your warning, if you are easily ass hurt, hit the back button now.  So, lets get this shit started.

There are a lot of things that irritate me, down right piss me off and make me shake my head.  Let's revisit some of the commandments shall we?  Lets start with Thou shalt not wear pajamas in public.  This includes when you take your child to school.  Yes your carebear/spongebob/scooby pj pants are cute and I'm sure kids think they look awesome because an adult is rocking a cartoon on their ass.  But the adults you encounter are all silently judging you for looking like a total slob who rolled out of bed 5 minuted before you had to walk out the door.  It takes all of like 30 seconds to slip on a pair of jeans and maybe another 10 seconds to button them up, provided they fit you properly anyway, please for the love of all things holy PUT ON SOME GOD DAMNED PANTS!!!!  This also goes for slippers.  If you don't want to bend your lazy ass over to tie your shoes invest in some flip flops.  They even make flip flop slippers that are soft and warm on the bottom of your foot but still look enough like a regular flop to wear them in public.  Brush your nappy ass hair.  I do not want to see you out in public looking like you have had a family of birds nesting in your hair.  To add to that, wash it please and if you don't at least put it up so no one can tell its oily.  I get it, I'm a mom, I know how hard it can be some days to get a shower and actually wash your hair and body without having to jump out, soap streaming down your face into your eyes and blinding you, tripping over the bathroom rug in your haste to find the towel that you left on the counter, to go break up a fight or find out what that huge banging sound was.  I totally understand.  But let me tell you something that you may not have thought about.  Ready?  The way you look reflects on your child(ren) and more often than not they are embarrassed of the way you look when you drop them off at school looking like this.  Of course they wont tell you because they don't want to hurt your feelings, but I am telling you, they don't want to be seen in public with you looking like a hobo.  Their friends see you and may joke them about it.  The other parents see you and think to themselves "well I know where little Johnny wont ever be going to play", that's right sweetheart, your house.  If you cant take the time to dress yourself to take your kid to school then you probably wont wont take care of my kid(s) to my standard when (s)he is at your house.  So in short, please look at least half ass presentable when you step out your front door. 

Common courtesy. I don't think I have written one about this yet, I didn't take the time to go look so I may be wrong.  But either way, this needs to be said.  Say please and thank you.  Its not that hard to utter those words in passing when someone does something nice for you.  I know you are too interested in talking on the phone to whomever but if I stand there and hold the door for you, you need to do 2 things.  The first one is step it into high gear asshole.  You may have all the time in the world but I am running late to my next stop and I am trying to be nice.  You are the type of person that I want to let the door go on.  If I stand there and hold it for you, and I wont unless you are 3 steps away or closer, please move your lazy ass a tad faster and when you walk PAST me to get into the store you can at the very least nod at me in appreciation.  I know, weird concept isn't it?  To actually be thankful that someone took 30 seconds out of their day to do something small to be nice to you but it really is the proper thing to do.  For those of you that don't say thank you, I am the bitch that will loudly say "You're welcome" as you pass me unnoticed.  Don't get an attitude with me, I was simply giving you the same respect you gave me, and teaching you a lesson.  Another thing.  If you see an elderly person or a person in a wheelchair HOLD THE FUCKING DOOR FOR THEM, help them get something off of a low or high shelf if they seem to be struggling to get it on their own.  Don't be a douche nozzle.  One day that will be you and the little asshats of this generation will ignore you as payback for all the times you did it.  Those that are elderly or disabled NEED the help.  Don't ignore them because you want to get finished with whatever trivial bull shit it is that you are doing.  Even when I am running REALLY late I still stop to help those that need it because its the right thing to do.  What the hell happened to people actually caring about others?  Is it really so hard to give a fuck about someone other than yourself?  Teach your kids to do the same thing.  Just today my wonderful Bub went with me to the store and on the way out an elderly gentleman was heading to the door, I was going to hold it for him but before I could even step to the side to get the door Bub grabbed it and held it for him.  I can not tell you how proud I was of him at that moment.  Not so much because he did it, but because he did it without me having to tell him to do it.  That was his own decision.  He has also given his jacket to a girl who didn't have one that he didn't even know while outside at school for a fire drill in the cold rain.  No one had to tell him to do it and she didn't ask him to do it.  He did it because he saw that someone else needed help and he was able to help them.  Yes, I totally just took the chance to brag about my most awesometastic 8 year old, but I also told you that because its pretty fucking sad that an 8 year old knows the right thing to do and most adults don't.  I don't think its that we have forgotten how to be nice to each other, I think its a case of a few rotten apples spoiling the bunch.  Those who were nice ran into one too many dickweeds and said fuck it I'm done being nice if no one appreciates it.  Which is understandable to a point, but how are we ever going to teach our children that isn't how we are supposed to be unless we lead by example? 

Relationships.  Mainly dysfunctional pairings between two seemingly compatible people that can tolerate each others bull shit.  There are those few rare cases of people that are truly in love and would die without the other one.  My grandparents were one of those rare couples and my grandmother has been mourning herself to death(literally) since my grandpa passed away in 2006.  She has lost her mind and when he died she lost her will to live.  She would have been dead already except her body refuses to give it up.  Shes super healthy for an 80 something year old and despite what her mind wants, her body says not yet.  But I'm straying off topic here.  Then there are those relationships(for lack of a better term) that shouldn't have ever in a million billion years happened.  The ones that you look at and say to yourself "what the fuck was s/he thinking?"  This usually happens to those  with low self esteem, self image issues, handicaps and the extremely overweight.  Sad but true.  More common than not the man is the asshole and the woman is the one, or more,  with one of the previously mentioned things going on.   She is so desperate to find and keep love that she will do whatever it takes to keep the so called "man" that "loves" her.  These "men" are predators.  They look for women like this because someone with self respect would never in a million years be with him.  As a side note this can go either way but I am keeping it simple for myself.  When you want to go hang out with a friend and your "man" gets pissed off about it because you aren't spending every possible moment with him, you need to leave his ass.  In a healthy relationship you maintain your friendships with other people because you NEED to have friends.  Its even worse when he makes you feel guilty about it.  "If you loved me as much as you say you do then you would want to be with me and not your friends."  Bull shit!!!!!  If you loved me you would understand that my friends were here long before you were and when, and if, I drop your sorry ass they are the ones that will be here for me.  If he wants you to do things that you don't want to do(mainly sexually) or you aren't ready for and then tells you that you don't love him if you don't do them, leave his ass.  You are nothing more than a piece of ass to him.  When your friends tell you that the "relationship" you are in isn't healthy you need to step back and look at it from another perspective, especially if they have been in a relationship similar to the one you are in.  Learn from their mistakes and save yourself a lot of heartache and bull shit in the long run.  If he says I love you or wants you to marry him within a few weeks of meeting, then chances are hes a douchebag and you need to leave him, especially if you aren't sure of your feelings yet.  Him saying that he loves you at such an early stage in the relationship is his way of trapping you.  Plain and simple.  Women are nurturing creatures.  We are also far more emotional than men and men know exactly how to play on that shit.  If he says he loves you you aren't going to run as easily because you don't want to hurt him.  You will hang around until you are so emotionally beaten that you actually think that you love him too.  You don't, hes made you dependant on him because hes played on your emotions so much, and secluded you from your friends(and sometimes family) to the point you feel like no one wants to be around you but him.  That they don't support of love you anymore and you have to stay with him.  Lemme tell you something sweetie, that's bull shit.  We are all still here for you and will always support you because that's what friends and family are for and because we love you.  So when you finally realize what has happened we will be here waiting with open arms to welcome you back to reality and we will help you pick up the shattered pieces of your heart and soul and we will rebuild you into a stronger woman.  ANY kind of abuse should not be tolerated and you should run as far and as fast as you can as soon as possible.  I will even go out on a limb here and say that if any of my wonderful readers are in this situation you can come to me if you don't want to go to friends/family.  I will give you an objective opinion and help you as much as possible.  If you don't want to put yourself out there by posting in the comment section below you can email me at mommyto4crazykids@gmail.com.  I am always available to help.  This goes for men too.  Its not always women that get abused. 

Well my loves , I would love to stay here and talk to you forever, and believe me I have LOTS more to say, but I have to go get my kids ready for bed and school tomorrow.  Its a dirty job but someone has to do it :).  As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Lol oh the drama

I almost died laughing tonight!   I was standing out at the van talking to A and S and out of nowhere this kid(couldn't have been older than 18) came running past the driveway. That isn't uncommon around here since we live on a fairly busy road so I didn't think anything of it. At least not until I heard "stop! Get on the ground!"  The kid literally dropped to the ground in the grass next to my driveway and I peeked around the back end of the car next to tthe van in enough time to see him sitting there trying to stand ul with his hands cuffed behind his back and then the cop tackled him. I was like what the fuck just happened here?!  The cop was yelling at this kid to stay still and stay down. I have to say the kid put up a decent struggle but with a 180lb man pinning him down cuffed with his face in the dirt he really didn't have much of a chance haha. Out of nowhere 3 cop cars come rolling up and another cop gets out of one of them cussing a blue streak and opens the back door and frisks the kid while the other cop holds him, face on the trunk. The kid is still trying to get away and all its doing is pissing the cops off more, and making me laugh harder. He goes through all his pockets and puts it all on the trunk and the next thing I hear is "seriously all he has on his is a hamburger bun and a lighter? What the fuck is this shit?" This made me laugh even harder and earned me a dirty look from the cop that had just got out of one of the other cars. Once they got the kid loaded into the car in his pretty silver bracelets and anklets the cop who was chasing him walked over to us and was like "sorry about that the slippery little bastard got away from us a few blocks away."  I told him I had to admit he seemed to have put up a good fight and I've got to give it to him for manumit that far in cuffs. But next time yell I'm a cop catch that guy and I'll trip him!  He told me man i was yelling all kinds of shit at him. Told him I would taze him, my tazer is in the car. Told him I would get the dogs on him, I don't have a damn dog. Told him I would shoot, can't shoot he didn't have a weapon drawn on me. I lost it. He just looked at me. What do you even say to that?!  He asked for the address to put it in his report and left. Ah, never a boring weekend around here.
well loves its 230 in the morning and I need to sleep. As always comments are always welcome and please share my page <3