Monday, August 20, 2012

Can i get a do over on today please?

Ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head till the next day?  That's me today. Mr worm has been crying for the past 4 days anytime he's put down so my nerves are already a bit shot and after this mornings events I'm ready to just call it quits and hide for the rest of the day. Worm was asleep when i got home(woohoo!) So i took a quick shower and actually had a chance to shave my legs(a rare treat for mom lol)!  I got out of the shower with hopes of catching a few hours of sleep and discovered worm had shit...not just in his diaper but up his back and front and out the leg holes on the diaper. Oh joy...I get to wake a sleeping baby AND give him a bath at midnight. Well of course once I did that he was wide awake and yelling at me...all night. I did manage to get an hour or so of sleep before miss priss got up though.  To start my morning off right the dog got out and led me on a 3 block chase in the pouring rain in my pajamas and no shoes and some asshat had the nerve to ask me "what didja dog run away?"  No dip shit I'm chasing him screaming his name for fun *rolls eyes*. So here I am this morning trying to make breakfast for the kids still dripping wet,(you have no idea how hard it is to male a bowl of cereal when you have had like 3 hours of sleep in the last 48hrs) and do the dishes and i discover that my sink is clogged...again. Great let me add fix the sink to my already mile long to do list. So i finish the dishes and tell Bub he needs to take the trash out for me. He gets the bag half way out and wouldn't ya know the can tipped over and the entire contents of the trash can spills all over my floor. Sigh. Well naturally miss priss thinks this is the perfect moment to let out a scream that made my ears bleed and glass shatter. No reason for doing it...guess she thought it would be fun to watch the vein in my forehead bulge(I swear the only reason it hasn't exploded yet is because God would lose his entertainment).  This ear bleeding, glass shattering scream woke up worm and he was not happy about it. Just to give you a bit of a recap so far at this point I have chased a dog in the rain, discovered a clogged sink and am looking at a pile of trash on the floor while dripping wet and freezing cold(why so i keep the AC on 73?) and now I have a very pissed off very very loud screaming baby. So to add a little more confusion to all this my phone rings and its the woman calling me back about miss priss' insurance. (Just a quick side note I'm sitting on my front porch and 2 cops just came flying down the road chasing a white suv that was tossing shit out the window as he drove past...they blocked and caught him at the corner...I'm half tempted to go see what he tossed since its right in front of my house but I don't wanna get in the middle of that shit.) Anyway, while on the phone trying to hear what this woman has to say miss priss comes to inform me the dog as pissed in the floor. You mean to tell me this fuckin dog couldn't have pissed during our chase this morning?!  Ugh. Well thankfully Bub likes to hold worm so i handed him worm and cleaned up the pee and the trash, plunged the sink and extracted the garbage disposal boogers and got on some dry clothes. I took worm from bub and got him back to sleep in just enough time for Bub and monster to start fighting and wake him up...again. thankfully worm is now sleeping, Bub and monster are cleaning their room and miss priss is pretending to clean hers.  Which has afforded me a moment to sit out here and collect myself and type this out.  But now I must go in and make them lunch and get miss priss down for a nap and then get ly ass busy cleaning.
So for now I will say Buhbye. As always commentary are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Friday, August 3, 2012

The whole hospital story and its ugly truth...

So as y'all know from my previous 2 posts, Mr worm was admitted to the children's hospital last week for not gaining enough weight and elevated liver enzymes.  Not gaining enough weight is medically termed failure to thrive and its a horrible thing to call it in my opinion.  My son isn't failing to thrive, hes fucikin small!  Hes right on point with all the Denver Tests, so hes thriving, hes just not a fat baby is all.  Now I will say that the elevated enzymes had me worried sick but thankfully as of this Tuesdays blood draw they have come down significantly yay!
Here is what happened while we were in the hospital.
We were admitted on Tuesday of last week and put into a shared room, which I didn't mind, other than the screaming kid all night.  Not to sound cold hearted, I know that a hospital is a scary place for anyone to be, but this little girl cried ALL NIGHT.  She would stop for a few minutes and start again and every time she would start up again it was LOUD! Which woke Worm up, which kept me up ALL NIGHT.  The 2nd day there wasn't too bad at all other than the corner of the room we were stuck in was barely big enough for the crib and a chair and there was no window so it kind of felt like a jail cell.  That day we saw the ped, 2 nutritionists, a lactation consultant and 2 GI Dr's plus 4 resident Dr's and several nurses.  BUSY day.  That night I got Worm settled down and asleep and they came in and informed me that they were moving us to ICU to put him in isolation because they were testing him for infectious diseases and viruses that would cause the elevation in his liver enzymes.  My heart dropped.  Not to say that I thought that he had anything like that going on, but to hear someone say that to me scared the shit out of me.  So they drew like 5 tubes of blood and inserted an IV line just in case he needed to have more blood drawn or they had to put him on any meds and we were whisked away to ICU.  This is when the bull shit started...the night nurses were a couple of dumb ass blond bitches who couldn't find water if they fell out of a boat, and they insisted on annoying the shit out of me all fucking night long.  I totally understand that it is their job to come in every 3 fucking hours to take vitals and shit but the extra trips into the room in between those 3 hours were uncalled for, and it was never for anything important!  So that night I got a total of about 2 hours of sleep and Worm got about 4.  Th only good thing that came from all of their interruptions was them not checking his temp in his butt anymore, but not before I had to explain to them that it wasn't necessary since he hadn't had a fever at all and they could get an accurate reading from under his arm and THEN if it was elevated they could check it rectally.  Fuckin brainiacs I tell ya.  So the next morning the ped comes in and I asked her when we could go home and she told me there were more tests they wanted to run and MAYBE we could go home the next day, Thursday.  I wasn't too happy about this because when we went in it was supposed to be a 24 hour thing and we could go home, it had already been 48 at this point.  Don't get me wrong, I want to make sure my child is healthy and would move mountains to make sure that he is, but since all they were doing was drawing blood I saw no reason for us to remain there.  Let me backtrack a bit here and explain what the plan that the LC and I came up with to get more calories into Worm was.  The LC came in late on the 2nd day and we talked about his latch and how long he was at the breast and all the ins and outs of breastfeeding.  Since all of his tests had come back clear and they knew that nutritionally he was doing great, we decided that the best way to get more of the fatty hindmilk into him was for me to nurse on one side while pumping on the other, then I was to offer the other breast and have him nurse on that side to get the hindmilk and then give him the bottle of the pumped milk.  By the time I got the pump that evening it was around 6pm, I fed did this one time and then it was time to move rooms.  The bottle of pumped milk that I had from when I was pumping to make sure that that particular pump was going to work for me and whatnot, got lost in our stuff during the move.  I got to try this 3 times before the Dr came in the next morning.  Not nearly enough time to see any results.  When the ped came in that morning she insisted that I offer both breasts and then give him a bottle of formula!  This pissed me off to no end!!  Not only is it going against all the shit you hear about breast is best and giving a bottle while breast feeding isn't a good idea if you are having issues with breast feeding and blah blah blah but its not something a dr should push if there is no reason for it other than they want to see your baby gain weight.  But even though I was madder than hell I kept my mouth shut about it.  The GI Dr ordered an ultrasound of his abdomen to check his liver and all that so we went down for that and came back to find the LC looking for us.  We talked and she told me to get a Rx for Reglan, which I have yet to take (don't judge me I am doing other things to increase my supply before I resort to taking a drug that can be passed to my baby via milk, yes its safe but I prefer to avoid it if possible).  We also discussed what the ped had told me and all that and she said to keep doing what we had talked about the day before and if he still seemed hungry after the bottle of pumped milk to offer the formula but not to resort to formula if we didn't have to. So that's what I did, the only people that had a problem with this was the nurses, the ped and 2 of the resident Dr's, everyone else was fine with it, and he had 12 Dr's while we were there.  While one of the nurses was in the room that day the subject of how long we would be there came up and she told me that the Dr would have let us go home that day but she didn't feel that i was able to take care of him on my own so she wanted us to stay longer.  Um....excuse me?!?!  Come to find out, the night before while dumb and dumber were the nurses they wrote on the chart that I was asleep when they came in on the 3 hour mark so I wasn't able to get up at night and feed him every 3 hours like I am supposed to.  First of all, I had NO idea that we were on a strict 3 hour feeding schedule and second of all any one who had been awake for almost 48 hours would have dozed off for a bit given the chance.  Well, my solution to this issue, I didn't sleep that night.  I was awake every time a nurse came in and I made damn sure to feed him on the 3 hour mark, even if he was asleep or not hungry.  The next morning is when all hell broke loose.  The ped came in and I asked if we were going home that day and she told me no.  So I asked her why and she told me it was because they wanted more tests done.  So I confronted her about her not thinking that I could take care of my child and she looked at me and told me she didn't think i was capable of taking care of him on my own at all!  It wasn't because they wanted to do more tests she saw me as an unfit mother because I wouldn't get up that one night and I was refusing to do what was best for my baby and give him formula.  Mind you WITHOUT the formula he had gained 3oz the day before.   I lost it.  Ever been so mad you saw red?  I literally saw red when she said that shit to me.  I also started to cry.  Not like, I'm upset that you think that about me and my feelings are hurt crying, it was those silent tears that flow from the corners of your eyes.  When those tears come, look the fuck out because I am after blood.  I had a few choice things to say and then I just walked out of the room at that point because if I hadn't I would have beat that bitch to the floor.  It takes A LOT for me to get that pissed, actually I haven't been that mad since I was a teenager and full of anger at the world, wanting to beat any ones ass that looked at me the wrong way.  So I went downstairs to calm down and when I got back to the room, about 10 minutes later, there was a nurse in there feeding m son formula!!!!  Mind you it wasn't to the 3 hour mark yet, he still had about an hour before it was time to feed him again, the Dr ordered that she give it to him!  This was the point of no return for me.  I was a total bitch to anyone that walked in that room the rest of that day. I was LIVID that she said and did those things.  I asked the nurse to get a hold of the ped because we needed to discuss some things and I was informed that she wouldn't be contacted until i talked to the resident Dr first.  Fine, call one of them I want to talk to someone NOW.  3 hours later the resident Dr comes in, along with a new nurse(apparently the other nurses didn't want to deal with me anymore), and 2 GI Dr's.  Thankfully my mom was there by this point because I really don't think that I would have been able to keep my temper in check alone.  After an hour of talking it was decided that it would be written VERY specifically in his chart how he was to be fed and when because everyone that came in the room wanted me to do something differently and it was a clusterfuck of confusion.  That night we had the absolute sweetest nurse who went above and beyond to make sure that we were OK and to leave us alone except when it was time to do vitals or when he was nonstop crying.  The formula didn't set right with his poor tummy and he had horrid gas pains, so she called the Dr and had him order something for him.  The next morning the nurse comes in and informs me that the ped that was on the case will no longer be seeing us and that the head ped will be calling me to talk about options.  Mind you the ped we had been seeing is a woman and the head ped is a man and we have been going to this practice since Bub was born, 8 years ago.  So the head Dr calls me and apologizes for the other ones behavior and tells me that he has some other options so we don't have to go the formula route and we can still get more calories in him.  He told me he wants to try him on Human Milk Fortifier and a SNS system.  OK, so explain this to me in stupid people terms please?  Human Milk Fortifier is a powder that you add to breast milk that takes it from 20 calories per ounce to 40 and the SNS system is a supplementary nursing system.  You fill a little bottle with the breast milk(or formula if that's what you are using) and hang it around your neck, then you take these little hoses and tape them to your breast and the hose ends right at the nipple, this allows him to nurse and get the fortified milk without the bottle, the reason this is good is because the BEST thing to help get your supply up is more time at the breast.  He also told me that we could go home as soon as he got to the hospital to talk about a few other things with me.  Woohoo!  He came in around 1 that afternoon and he explained it all again and then told me that the other Dr was lucky she still had a damn job after the shit she pulled with me and that he was personally going to see Worm from now on.  See, the reason I like this Dr so much is because hes all about breast feeding and is VERY educated about it(which isn't common for a Dr, especially a male Dr) and he refuses to give a child meds unless he has exhausted all other options first OR they NEED them.  If y'all cant tell by now, I am not a fan of medicating unless it is absolutely necessary and I will try natural remedies first.  When he left the room I heard him out in the hall chewing the asses of the resident Dr's and the nurses that had pushed formula on us and he told them that they are to NEVER push it on one of his patients again without HIS consent. So anyway, he let us go home that day (Saturday) and we had to go into the office for a weight check on Monday, he has gained like 4oz and we went back again on Thursday and he had gained another 6oz yay!  So what we are doing is working.  His liver enzymes have come down significantly and as an added bonus, while we were there Thursday he made the other Dr come in and personally apologize to me for what she had done.

Well, I have kept you long enough so I will end it here.  As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3