Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Cant update from the stupid phone....

http://www.thestar.com/iphone/news/world/article/1201635--man-shot-eating-another-man-s-face-caused-by-excited-delirium-say-miami-police?bn=1

I really wanted to post this as an addition to the last post but my stupid fucking phone wouldn't let me post the damn link...so here it is with my thoughts...

Ok so i know this is another link to the man eats face story BUT if you read it you will see close to the end of the article itnsays this isn't the first case of a naked man eating on another person...I'm going to try to find the full story on this one tomorrow but I find it a bit weird that there have been 2 incidents of a naked person eating the flesh of another person. I don't know what kind of drugs these people are taking hit it seems that whatever it is is  turning them into real live zombies of sorts. Me thinks its time to do some researching on what's causing this...

Monday, May 28, 2012

Zombies?!?!

http://img.ibtimes.com/www/articles/20120528/346139_miami-man-eating-face-nose-eyeballs.htm

For those of you that know me you all know I'm a huge zombie freak...for those of you that don't know me...well...now you know I'm a huge zombie freak lol. This story, while tragic, is effin awesome. Could this be the start of the zombie apocalypse?  Or is it just some freak strung out on drugs doing something crazy?  I'll post all my zombie thoughts and stuff when I get a chance to get on my computer again because its WAY too much to type out from the phone bit I just HAD to share this link lol.
As always commentary are always welcome and please share my page with your friends :)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The post baby fun!

My little worm is a week old as of yesterday! Yay we made it through the first week without mommy losing her mind...well...not completely anyway.  So since I have had some time to get into the swing of things and get myself used to not sleeping again I figured I would tell you guys all about the postpartum joys we women get to experience.

1.  Where the fuck is my figure?!  I still look 4 months pregnant and to make matters worse its squishy like dough.  Don't get me wrong I wasn't skinny to start with but it would have been nice to go back to my pre baby fluffyness and not a post baby squish. I was lucky with my older 3,I left the hospital smaller than I was pre baby...guess my luck had to run out sometime. 

2. Holy nipples Batman!!  Not only do your nipples get bigger but they get darker too. If you decide to breast feed they stay this way until your done. If you bottle feed then they should go back to normal fairly soon. In the meantime don't look at your dinner plate sized nipples.

3.  Porn star tits yay...oh wait...leaky porn star tits!  Oh aren't they wonderful?!  Amazing boobs that most of us would love to have all the time, that is if they didn't hurt every fucking time you move and leak constantly. And watch out when you take off your bra...hit one of this things wrong and someone/something  is getting sprayed. 

4.  Why am I still an emotional basket case???  You got it kid...hormones....still. Fun huh?  After being moody for the last 9 months you can't wait to have your little bundle of joy so you can go back to feeling at least somewhat normal again yay!  Wrong!  Your hormones have to go back to normal....translation...prepare for a roller coaster of emotions that ends with a flaming crash in a week or 3. You will cry for no reason or want to kill the happy smiling mommies you see on TV because lets face it, you are anything but happy and smiling and they are sooooo faking it.  On a more serious note though please be aware of the signs of ppd and if someone tells you they think you are depressed please listen to them more often than not other people see it before we do. Be aware of how you are feeling and if you have more bad days than good call your Dr immediately for an appointment.

5.  Did it rain in my bedroom?  Nope I'm just sweating like a whore in church. You can blame those lovely hormones for this one too. You can, and probably will, wake up at night drenched in sweat. For a reference on how bad it is check out the movie Jack and Jill...more specifically the scene where Jack wakes Jill up from a nap and she gets out of bed leaving behind a sweat shadow.  Gross but oh so very true. And you thought the night sweats were gonna end after you had the baby ha!  Fooled you!

6.  It looks like a murder scene in my underware.  Ya...gross huh?  After you have a baby your lady bits will bleed worse than they ever have in your life. I have a pretty strong stomach and a passion for gore and this kind of blood loss is a bit much for me....though it may he because its actually coming from me...bit you get the point. Stock up on pads pre baby, you will go through a shit load of them. Oh, and before I forget that golf ball sized ball of blood that just fall out of you...that's normal.  So is the slimy texture and the weird brown tinge to it.

7.  Zombie mommy status. You can only go so many nights waking up every 2-3 hours and then staying up all day before you start to look like a zombie. You've seen tthe zombie mommy before. Dazed look on her face, glassy eyes, hair thrown into a ponytail of sorts and unbrushed, spit up stains on her shirt, and possibly mix matched shoes.  This will be you in a weeks time. You will hate anyone who is sleeping within a 5mile radius of your home and the one person you will hate the most is the person who knocked you up and caused this suffering. While he's laying there sleeping peacefully you will wait to smother him with a wet diaper as you try to feed the baby who won't stop screaming for the 5th time that night.

8.  Honey quick get the camera!  The post delivery poop.  After 9 months of not shitting right you will finally be able to poop again....and guess what...you won't want to!  It doesn't matter how you delivered your baby you are not, I repeat, NOT going to want to push ANYTHING else out of your body.  Word of advice, take the stool softeners they offer you at the hospital.   Its going to hurt like a son of a bitch but you will feel sooooo much better. 

9.  Get the fuck out of my house!!!!!  Chances are you will have more visitors and well wishers than you can stand over the next month. You will have the few that come by to see the baby and go on their way and then you will have the ones like many mother in laws...they want to pretty much move in. There comes a point when you want to scream at the top of your lungs for everyone to get the fuck out.   That. Will be the only way to get these people out so don't be afraid to scream at the top of your lungs GET.THE.FUCK.OUT!!!!  Go ahead and practice it now if you want. I find screaming to be quite refreshing.

10.  WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!  Get used to this sound. You are going to be hearing it quite a bit here soon. Have fun trying to figure out exactly why the love of your life is screaming non stop in your face. Is he hot? Gassy? Hungry? Cold? Wet? Hurt? Sick? Oh my god someone make it stop I can't figure it out!!! 

11.  Master the art on being one handed.  From now until your little precious is mobile you better get used to being one handed. This includes while you are eating cleaning or cooking. Get creative with how you do things. Just be sure not to drop your dinner on baby's head while you are trying to eat and nurse/deed the babybat the same time.

Well that's all I can think of for now and I have a little bundle of joy screaming to be changed.  As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends/follow me :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Gettin outta here!

We get to go home today yay!!!!  I am sooooooo beyond ready to get the hell out of this hospital, eat some real food and get my little worm home.  He has his days and nights mixed up, but that may be because the only damn time they want to come in here and bother us is after midnight, and then they want to come in and ask me every 2 hours if he's nursed or if he's had any dirty diapers.  Of course they rarely come in during the day.  Anyway, I am sitting here waiting on them to bring him back to me and then I think we can go!  He failed his hearing test yesterday so they are re-doing it this morning and the he gets his pictures and we are out of here. My dr already came in and saw me and told me I am free to go as soon as he is, his dr already came in and told me that he is doing great, that i need to cook him in the sun a little longer because he has a touch of jaundice (I don't see it but then again I can barely see in this damn light anyway).  I have to make an appointment for him to go to the dr tomorrow to be checked out by them and get his first shot, but other than that he is perfect.  So for now I sit and wait for them to bring me my baby and then I get to go home with my little worm :)  Well, in my sleep deprived state I'm sure I am just rambling and repeating myself lol.  I will try to post later.

As always, comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends :)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

2 hours late!!

My little worm made his appearance at 208 am on the 15th of May, 2 hours after his due date passed.  I was only in labor for 3hrs and only the last hour of that was hard all things considered.  I am going to make this as short as possible since I am still pretty tired and my brain isn't working completely yet lol.  
My water broke around 11 on the 14th when I got up to go pee for the millionth time that night.  It wasn't like you see in the movies where you have a HUGE gush of water or anything, it felt like I was peeing on myself but I couldn't stop it and it would happen randomly.  I knew that I wanted to wait to go to the hospital because I knew if I was there things wouldn't go the way I wanted them to.  I wanted to have a natural birth and I didn't want to be hooked up to the monitors and stuff, so I cleaned myself up and put a pad on and played a video game for a half hour or so.  At that point my contractions weren't very regular and they weren't really even painful, yay!  Like I said I played the game for a bit and decided I needed to soak in a warm bath to help with the pain because it was becoming stronger and more regular.  I got in the bath and by the time I got out an hour later I was ready to go to the hospital.  So we left, stopped to pick up my dad on the way there and I got checked into the hospital at 107 am.  They got me upstairs and to my first room around 115 and hooked me up to the monitors and checked me, I was 100%effaced, baby was at 0 station and I was 4cm dilated.  FUCK only 4?!  I could have stayed in my bath for awhile longer, at least that was helping some with the pain!  Well, the policy of the hospital that I am at is to put you in one room until they are sure you are in labor then they move you to the delivery room when they know that you are.  Off we went on the ride down to the delivery room, by the time we got into that room I wanted to kill someone.  It was classic movie, "I hate you, get this thing out of me, fuck you" labor.  Up to that point I had been my usual funny, happy, laid back self.  Now, shit was real!  I wanted him out and I wanted him out NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!  I was laying there and told them get me a fuckin epidural, mind you I knew it wasn't going to work, but that was the only drug i could think of the name of.  The nurse told me she needed to hook me up to the new monitors and all that and she would check me and call for an epi.  Great, so get to it!  She got me hooked up and checked me, I was 8cm and there was no way any kind of medicine would get there and in my system fast enough to work.  My contractions were 1min apart lasting about 45 seconds and double peaking.  FUCK THIS!!!!!  I want this kid out of me.  Then I got the urge to push.  I HAD to push, there is NO resisting that urge.  Its fucking primal.  I had one nurse telling me to stop pushing and another one trying to check me to make sure I was 10cm.  I didn't fucking care, I just wanted him out of me and I figured if my body was telling me to push then its ready.  I growled at the nurse to get her fucking hand out of me and she said she could feel the baby's head.  Someone called my dr, thank god he was in the hospital already!  He came walking in and THAT IS NOT MY DOCTOR, WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!?! I had never in my life seen this man before.  All I could say was that's not my dr over and over until someone explained to me that he was one of the dr's in the practice I go to, I just somehow had never had an appointment with him.  OK, great, catch!  Mind you this conversation took place over the course of like a minute while he was getting ready to catch, and I was pushing.  I made noises I didn't know I was capable of.  I growled and grunted with every push, for some reason I just did.  Then all of the sudden, I didn't have the urge to push and while I was having a contraction, it didn't hurt, so I didn't do anything.  I just laid there, legs half in the air, waiting.  The nurses were urging me to push and I had no desire to do anything, so I listened to my body an didn't do anything, nothing.  The Dr said he could see his head and all it was going to take was one more push and the head would be out.  I didn't care, I was listening to my body and that's all that mattered to me.  I find this odd, because I wanted nothing more than to get him the hell out of me, I have no idea why I didn't need to push, but I am so glad I listened.  A minute or so later I got the urge again and I started pushing.  I remember practically yelling, My vagina is on fire!  The dr told me it was his head coming out.  I don't give a flying fuck why its on fire make it stop!  This is what is called "The Ring of Fire", its when the skin around the opening of the vagina stretches to an unglodly size.  One more push and his head was out, and he was PISSED.  He started screaming as soon as his head was out.  One more push and his shoulders came out, then the rest of his just kid of slid out with one more push and it was all over.  They laid him on my chest and he laid there and screamed in my face while they wiped him off and all suctioned him out.  I am very happy to report that I did not have to get any stitches or anything like that, I swear its because I waited to push him out when my body told me to, and not when the nurses were telling me to.  He's perfect in every way.  His APGAR's were 9 and 9, he weighed 6lbs 12.1oz and is 19in long.  He's breastfeeding like a champ and doing great.  Recovery has been amazing for me so far.  I have very little pain other than some cramping, I am up moving around without much effort, I haven't had to have any pain meds, its been great!  My only complaint is that the food sucks and I am starving!  Oh and  they only come in to bother me at night, I'm like, why cant you come in during the day to annoy us?  He's already not sleeping much at night anyway, please don't make it harder by waking him and me up every few hours all night ugh.  One more night and we get to get out of here tho.  We have to stay until tomorrow because I was GBS positive but labor went so fast I didn't get the meds for it and they want to watch him for 48 hours before they let us go home.  Which I knew was going to happen because I was going to refuse the meds anyway for personal reasons.  
Well my dr just came in so I have to run.  As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends <3

Monday, May 14, 2012

Today is my due date

Dear Unborn Son,
I am officially serving you an eviction notice. You have been growing inside of my womb for 9 months as of today and it is time for you to make your appearance. We all are anxiously awaiting your arrival. GET OUT OF ME!!!! If you are not here soon I will be forced to do things I do not want to do to make you come out. Make this easy on both of us and just come out.
Love,
Your grumpy, moody, swollen, tired, aching, waddling mommy


As you can see by the letter to my unborn child, I am still very pregnant.  I am due today and have no signs of labor as of yet.  *Sigh*  If I don't go into labor by Wednesday on my own my Dr is going to schedule me to be induced, which is NOT what I want.  I am going to refuse it for as long as possible because I don't want to go that route, but I know that there will come a time that I will have to do it if he decides to be stubborn.  I want him to come into this world in his own time.  Its easier on baby and mommy when there aren't so many interventions.  Anyways, ya'll say a prayer that I go into labor SOON please!  I have to get out of here and get some things done.  Hopefully I will be able to post my latest rant in a bit and maybe update you on all the other things that have been going on.


As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends and follow me :)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there!!  And let's not forget all the daddies out there that do the job of mom and dad!  
My wonderful babies surprised me this morning :)  I woke up to the sound of my oldest making cereal for the other 2 so I didn't have to do it.  It's not often he shows his sweet side but when he does he really makes it known that he has one.  Then they all gave me cards that they had made for me and my little lady made me a heart shaped pin to wear.  And then they gave me a basket with bath stuff and candles in it.  My oldest picked everything out that went in it and did an awesome job, he knows his mommy better than I thought he did lol.  He even picked out some chocolate scented candles for me haha.  They are now outside playing and keep bringing me flowers telling me Happy Mother's Day.  I have the sweetest kids ever.  I totally didn't expect them to do anything but it was a great surprise.  I love my brats so much <3

Now that I am done bragging about my awesome kids I am going to get a bit bitchy, no shock there huh? lol
I was on a mommy board this morning looking at some of the posts, like I do every morning, and I saw a few that caught my attention that honestly made me want to reach through the computer and smack these women!  I am aware that today is mothers day and that all moms should be made to feel special BUT it's not mandatory that you be lavished with expensive gifts, or anything at all for that matter.  I was reading some of these posts and these women were bitching about how they haven't gotten anything at all or about what they got not being expensive enough.  Get the fuck over yourself bitch!  Know what I got last year for mothers day?  I got to listen to my kids tell me about what they did for another woman, meanwhile I didn't even get to SEE them on what was supposed to be my special day.  Be grateful that you can hug your kids and hear them tell you they love you and all that jazz.  Be happy that someone thought about you at all!  Besides that it's only like 1030 in the effin morning and they may have something planned for you for later.  I hope you have to eat your words.  Life isn't about the material shit people.  One woman even had the nerve to bitch about the fact that her kids gave her a charm bracelet and it was nice but she wanted it to be gold not silver and she was mad that they didn't bring her breakfast in bed.  Really?! Are you fucking kidding me bitch?!  I really hope you didn't tell your kids that because it would crush them that what they did wasn't good enough for you.  *Sigh* it's pointless to even say anything about people like that though, they are in their own worlds and nothing will ever be good enough for them.  

Well I am out of here to work on my latest rant.  Keep an eye out for it if you want to read my bitching lol.



As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends and follow me <3

Friday, May 11, 2012

How could it not be racism?

I would love to hear what you have to say about all of this but please don't come at me if you haven't informed yourself with the facts of what is going on and please be as respectful as possible.  I love a good discussion/debate as much as the next person but I will delete any comments that are derogatory or rude to me or anyone else.  No name calling or threatening will be tolerated.  Now for me to start my rant....enjoy :)

There was a story on the news not too long ago that caught my attention and the longer they talk about it the more it pisses me off.  A man and a woman, both reporters for the local newspaper, were jumped by a group of African American teenagers, both of the people that were jumped are caucasian.  Typically this wouldn't bother me, you know, it's just another violent crime in the area and there's nothing to it.  But, the story goes on to say that EVERY ONE of the people that did the beating were African American, now forgive me if I am wrong but that seems racial to me.  What pisses me off even more is that the story didn't make it to the news for almost 2 weeks after it happened.  Why not?  If it were the other way around and it was 2 black people that were beat by a bunch of white people it would have been on the news that night AND they would have been screaming that it was racial.  Why is it we have this double standard?  What is it about the African American culture that makes them think that EVERY crime committed against them is racially provoked?  Why is it if a white person does it we are racist but when its the other way around its just another crime?  I was also reading that black on white crime has been on the rise since the Martin/Zimmerman thing happened.  I won't tell you my opinion on that case because that's another post in itself.  Anyway, since that case wasn't handled like the general public wanted it to be there has been a rise in black on white crime that you aren't hearing anything about.  Why not?  Why aren't we hearing about these things happening?  Are we afraid of being called racist for bringing attention to it?  Are we scared that it will add fuel to the fire?  Showing things for what they really are?  There is a race war going on NOW!  It's more of an issue now than it has been in a very long time and unless you read the paper or go searching online, you aren't going to hear about it.  It's total bullshit!  I want the same damn rights as everyone else!  I want people to know that white people are being beaten by groups of African Americans for no reason other than they are pissed off over a case that has NOTHING to do with them personally.  I understand that that particular case was/is really messed up, and I think that there needs to be justice in the case.  Zimmerman needs to see jail time.  But when it comes down to it, that case has zero to do with anyone but the families that were effected by what happened, and the neighbors that witnessed it.
I am far from a racist person, but I feel that this is something that needs to be brought to light.  Stop being scared of what is going to happen when you speak the truth and let it be known damn it!

I'm out of here for now.  As always comments are always welcome and please follow my page :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

it seems like a good morning for a rant...

I posted a few days ago about how much I hate all of you that aren't pregnant.  I still hate you.  But you wanna know what I hate even more?  The stupid shit ya'll not pregnant people say about pregnant women!!  Even my doctors ask me stupid questions or make stupid statements.  You are men, there is no way in hell you have any clue exactly what I am feeling or going through and I don't want to hear your stupid comments about how "it's almost over" or "just put your feet up for awhile" or any of the other shit ya'll say.  Let me tell ya, 40 weeks is a long fucking time to not have your body to yourself.  Forty weeks is a long fucking time to be miserable.  I am aware that I am more than blessed to have children and that I can get pregnant easily.  I know there are women out there that struggle to get pregnant and that some never do, but that doesn't mean that I have to enjoy the fact that I have a leech inside me these last few weeks.  I love this baby more than life itself, as I do my older children, but for the love of God get the fuck out of my uterus!!!!  I will gladly trade the sleepless nights I have now for the sleepless nights to come.  I don't sleep now because I have to pee every time I get comfortable, my entire body aches from carrying around another person 24/7, it's impossible to get comfortable because no matter how I lay down my big ass belly hangs and it pulls on my back and side, heartburn so bad it feels like hell is in my throat(yes when you go to hell you go reside in pregnant women's throats), and the endless other problems that come with being pregnant.  Now that I have ranted about the non pregnant people pissing me off, lets talk about the ones that have had kids and think they know ALL ABOUT what you are going through and tell you what you are in for and how you need to enjoy these last few weeks.  To all of you I want to say FUCK YOU!!!  Yes, you will miss being pregnant for a bit after the baby is born, you will miss those little kicks and nudges to the ribs for a bit, and there will be nights that you will wish the sweet little baby that is screaming in your face for some unknown reason is still in your belly so you can get 2 seconds of quiet.  When you have those moments, ask someone to punch you in the face!  But back to my rant on women who have kids and want to tell you all about how hard it is.  I will be the first to tell you, infancy is the easiest part of being a parent.  All they do is eat, sleep, cry and poop.  That's it!  Is it hard?  Fuck yes it is!  You walk around like a zombie for the first few months of your child's life.  Does it get easier?  Hell fucking no!  Before you know it those sweet little babies are walking, talking toddlers that get into EVERYTHING!  Then comes the preschool stage, this is when they really start to learn who they are, they talk back, question everything and get into more trouble than they did when they were toddlers.  As soon as you begin to think that things can't possibly get harder they hit school age, this is when they go to school and learn everything you never wanted them to know about from other kids.  They get mouthier, bossy and flat out stubborn, and lets not even talk about the actual school part of it.  After that you are on your way to the tween stage.  I won't even touch on these ages because I haven't been there with my own kids yet, but next time you are out take a look around at all the little prosti-tots and wanna be thugs, that could be your child one day....scary isn't it?  I got off subject again didn't I?  As you can see I'm in a bitchy mood this morning...so I am going to leave it here for now.
As always comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friend :)

Friday, May 4, 2012

Getting dressed....

As you all know by now I am hugely pregnant.  This proves to be an issue when it comes to getting dressed.  So to help any of you that may be pregnant with this issue I figured I would tell you how I do it.

Step one- go pee, it helps to have an empty bladder since this can involve quite a bit of straining and bending depending on how you choose to do it.

Step two-  find a pair of pants that still fit.  You don't have to be able to button/zip them, you just need to be able to get them up and over your hips.

Step three- sit down.  Where you decide to sit is entirely up to you.  I recommend the couch or the edge of the bed since it leaves room to lean back later.

Step four-  unfold pants and throw them on the floor in front of you.  Yes this seems counter productive since the floor is a long way away at this point, but it works I promise.

Step five-  take your foot and open the top of the pants.

Step six-  take both feet and place them in their respective leg holes and carefully hook the pants over the tops of your feet.

Step seven- this is where it gets a bit tricky.  once you have the pants hooked on your toes slowly start to lift your legs up at the same time.  Once you get them above waist height start to wiggle them a bit to get the pants to come up your legs.

Step seven-  continue to wiggle your pants up your legs until you can reach them without having to bend over too far.  This is why I prefer to do this sitting on the bed or couch, it allows for you to lay back if you have to.

Step eight-  once you can grab your pants stand up and pull them the rest of the way up!

Congratulations you have now put your pants on without having to bend over to reach your feet!!!

The other way you can get your pants on is to ask your husband/boyfriend/significant other/whoever you don't mind seeing you half naked, to help you put them on.

You can also forget the pants and just wear dresses, but if you are anything like me that isn't much of an option.  Or you can just walk around the house without pants on at all if you live alone.

This all may sound a bit strange or like a lot of work to get dressed every morning but I promise you by the time you are hugely pregnant you will be looking for any thing you can do to avoid having to bend over to the floor.  You can thank me later for this advice.

As always comments are always welcome and please follow my page :)

I hate you right now...

If you aren't pregnant I hate you right now lol.  I am to the point I hate everyone to be honest with you.  I swear I feel like I have a bowling ball in my vagina, except the bowling ball moves...A LOT!!!  He's low enough now that every time he moves it feels like I am being cunt punched from the inside.  Not a good feeling AT ALL!!!  I have also come to realize that god plays a cruel joke on pregnant women in the last trimester.  Hear me out on this one...the last few weeks you stay exhausted from growing a human for the last 9 months, all you want to do is sleep and as soon as your head hits the pillow you are expecting to pass right out into a peaceful slumber.  WRONG!!  You lay down and it takes 20 minutes to get comfortable and by the time you FINALLY find that comfy spot you have to get up to pee or you get a leg cramp or baby starts kicking you and it hurts.  What is the one thing every one tells you to do when you are pregnant, especially close to the end?  Rest/sleep as much as you can because once baby gets here you won't be doing much of either one!  Well sweetheart lemme tell ya, I'm not getting much of either one now!  Not to say that I don't appreciate the concern or the advice because I totally do, I'm just uber bitchy right now lol.

My ankles have officially disappeared.  This upsets me more than the fact that I haven't seen my feet in 4 months.  I have cankles!!!!   I know they will go away after I have this little leech but right now, it's quite upsetting :(.  What makes it worse is I already have big legs, now it looks like I have tree trunks for legs.  But all this swelling has made me promise myself never to complain about how big my legs are again.

I also want to address all of you belly rubbers out there.  Those of you that just have to rub a pregnant woman's belly while you are standing in line at the store, or wherever you are.  OK, so I don't mind when someone I know touches my belly, but if I don't know you don't touch my belly.  The next person that rubs my belly is going to pull back a bloody stump, and no I won't give you your hand back to have it reattached, chances are I'm hungry it it will make a nice snack anyway!  I totally understand that pregnant bellies are cute and who doesn't want to feel a baby kicking in mommies belly?  The first few times this happens you smile and let it go, its sweet that a total stranger finds the miracle of of your pregnancy beautiful and exciting, and the sweet compliments on how you are glowing and you look so good to be X weeks along.  After that it's just annoying.  I don't want to hear "oh it must be twins" or "any day now huh" or "oh your glowing"  No darlin, its one baby, I'm not due for a few more weeks and that's not me glowing that's sweat because its hotter than hell in here!

Getting up has become a chore.  I sound like a dying walrus eating a big bowl of rice crispies when i stand up.  My bones snap crackle and pop and i emit grunts and groans i never knew i could make.  It's a huge pain in the ass and having to pee every 10 seconds doesn't help at all.  That has become a game of 'how long can I hold it' because it involves having to get up to actually go to the bathroom and then you have to sit on the toilet and get up again when your done.  I have given serious thought to putting a mini fridge in the bathroom and just spending the rest of this pregnancy sitting on the pot so I don't have to get up and walk to the bathroom so often.  Too bad the bathroom is too small for a fridge, damn it!  Huge tip to those of you that are currently pregnant, but haven't made it to the last trimester yet, buy the fluffy stuff.  Don't go buying John Wayne toilet paper, you will totally regret it if you do!

Well ya'll I have been sitting here for awhile now and I have things to do today(if i can get my ass in gear that is), so I am off here for a bit.  Going to take my daughter to go see m gma here soon.  As always, comments are always welcome and please follow my page <3

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I'm procrastinating again...

I am the Queen of procrastination!  I have had so much to say and haven't posted in a few days.  Mainly because I am super lazy here lately and partially because my kids have been keeping me on my toes with their crap lol.  Either way, prepare for a long one (if I can keep my eyes open and my thought process going anyway).  

Let's start with my Dr appointment the other day. Minimal progress with dilation *sad face*, my blood pressure was low, which is better than it being high I guess, the Dr thinks my little man is going to be long since his head is at -2 and his knees are still up at the top of my uterus, and he told me that I can schedule an induction anytime I want to after next Monday since I will be 39 weeks.  I politely told him to shove it, there is no way in hell I will get the devil juice again!  But the devil juice is another story for another day. I have decided that I will blog while in labor, provided I am not in too much pain that is.  I figure since I am going to try to do it all natural this time it will be worth a read by the time it's all over.  Thankfully my phone decided to let me download the blogger app so I will be able to do it from the phone and I wont have to worry about grabbing the laptop before I head to the hospital.  I warn you now that I will probably be pretty descriptive with all the nasty details so those posts won't be for the weak stomached.  At some point before I go into labor (if I can stop procrastinating that it) I will be posting my birth stories from all 3 of my kids.  If you ask anyone that I have told those stories to they will tell you that it will be worth the read when I am done.

The kids have been up to their usual crap, driving me insane!!!  Nothing new or funny to report on that right now, but I'm sure it won't be long before they do something that will amuse you guys.  

I will be updating my list of commandments soon.  I have been out and about a little more than usual lately and have written several more.  I probably won't post them all at once because there are so many of them but hey, I have to have something to keep you coming back don't I? Lol.

I am debating getting back into my chocolate work here soon.  Things had been super slow for awhile so I stopped promoting and looking for jobs and shows to do.  I really miss it!  I have already looked into the 4th of July thing that I did last year and gotten the application for it.  I hope to be able to get a spot there at the very least.  I'm probably going to wait till after the baby is born to start putting ads up again, and yes I will be shamelessly promoting myself here as well.  I'm sure ya'll are excited to hear that huh?  But in all seriousness, I really miss it and can't wait to get things going with that again.  I have a huge list of new recipes to try and have made some revisions to some of the ones I was already doing.  Ah, the simple things that make me happy.  

On the subject of simple things that make me happy, I am sitting here crunching Sonic ice.  Seriously the BEST ice I have ever had.  If you haven't ever had it you MUST get some.  I buy it by the bag now.  I crave ice!  And burritos...I swear I am going to give birth to a half frozen Mexican baby!  

Anyway, I am going to get out of here.  I know this wasn't my usual style of post and it was pretty boring, sorry about that.  As always, comments are always welcome and please share my page with your friends :)